Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize