I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
