I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
