STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
