hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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