umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
