It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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