Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
