fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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