The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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