I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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