Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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