Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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