Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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