Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
