You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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