I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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