i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
