pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Someone shit on the floor
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
