I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Nicole vs. Life
I think I died a long time ago.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
