people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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