69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
