Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
