i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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