yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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