Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
