my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
