I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
