I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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