I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
