Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
