Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
