I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
