I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
