I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
