just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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