he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
