drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
