bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
