If i could tip my vagina, i would.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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