I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
