Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
