i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize