you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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