champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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