he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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