It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
