i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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