fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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