I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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