Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
