Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
