Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do vagina's smell?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
