Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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