He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
