so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Randomize
