im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize