I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
