my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
