You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize