i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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