Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
