Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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