Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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