I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
