hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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