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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
