Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Your cock deserves a montage
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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