Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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