can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
