I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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