I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
