is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
