I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
